i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize