Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
