Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
