Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
