can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
