I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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