so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
