The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
