I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
