**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
