The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I need a hoe opinion
go on
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
