My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
