that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
