U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
