My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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