I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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