Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
