Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
