Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
