I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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