T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm both gender and math confused
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
