I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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