when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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