your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
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Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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