I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.