Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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