You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
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Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
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I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.