The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?