You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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