true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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