If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
