This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
