I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize