Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
