Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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