apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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