Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
