I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
