Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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