dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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