So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
NoShamevember. You game?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
