super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
