Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
