Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
