It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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