I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
