he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
