she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
then he tried to convert me to islam
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
