I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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