I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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