Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?