i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
everyone is single if you try hard enough
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.