But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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