He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
