That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
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We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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