RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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