Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
