oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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