the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
