You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
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i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
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I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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