does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
