Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
