I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
