so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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