ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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