I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
